Today marks the end of a year, another chapter in my life and let me say that 2014 was kind of crazy. It was not amazing as 2011 but there were many major parts to it. This past year started off with me waking up in Aspen, Colorado. I have not been on a plane since I was 9 and this was a new adventure for me. The next few months I have been surprising getting good grades.
In February, for the first time by myself, I went by plane to Florida to visit my grandparents. Having cried both going and coming (I can’t believe I did that) I have matured on traveling the world by myself.
In April, around Easter, I had received the sacrament of Reconciliation through my school. I had told the priest how I was such a bad person to myself. How I blamed everything on me and he said that it was very brave to not blame it on someone else. He told me that it was the devil trying to disconnect me from God and if I ever had bad thoughts again that I should let it slip and think of something else. That literally changed my whole state of mind including eventually achieving my goal for that school year, being happy.
In July, I had a chance to be able to go to New York and study fashion with a summer class at the Fashion Institute of Technology. I made new friends and hope to go again next year to learn more.
I had moved from JV to my school’s Varsity dance team and I finally realized the meaning behind hard work. Pushing yourself will eventually lead you to a goal you’ve been wanting. For me is to be more fit and be more flexible.
In August and going into September, two people I have known had passed away. One was a student I had gone to middle school with and to hear how he died literally ripped my heart out. We were never really good friends at school, but I did have a crush on him in 8th grade. I guess you never know how corrupted society could be until someone disappears forever. The other was my old math teacher, a lady who used to scare the life out of me. She also helped me achieve better grades in math. I learned more from her teaching style than anyone else.
Also in September, I had a chance to be able to go to the Ed Sheeran concert along with 2 of my friends and had the time of my life for my 17th birthday.
In October, I had to drop some friends who were not helping me mentally. Having people around who made you confused on if they were really your friends or just people around eventually going to hurt you. Knowing they were doing things without me and lying to me was devastating and I eventually stopped talking to them and moved on to hanging out with people who I talked to but really hung out. I do not have many friends but I realized that they did not have to make me feel bad about myself or gossip about others to have fun. It really did not matter if they are considered ‘weird’ they are better friends than everyone in the school.
In November, my homecoming look I had submitted was placed on the Teen Vogue website.
This has been a major dream of mine to be either on their website, or on their magazine. I hope to be able to put myself out their more and can not wait to put together new outfits for others to see.
In December, I had reached 100 subscribers on my YouTube channel and been thinking too much. Oblivion scares me and I feel like I am trapped inside a bubble. I am stuck in a place with something I do not want to do and I want to be putting my name out there, exploring life. Life doesn’t last forever, I just want to be remembered somehow. Currently being a high school student, I cannot do much. All I want is to reach out to others, create something big and creative, travel the world and give the world a lasting impression of me.
In 2015, I hope to be able to travel more places. I will be traveling to London and Paris this summer. I am going to looking at colleges, in South Carolina maybe New York and Boston. Next month I will be going to Florida to support my team as they compete in Nationals.
I hope to make new friends. I hope to meet new people who I can easily connect with and not be afraid that they are going to hurt me in some way. I want to reconnect with old friends who once made me happy. I had lost touch with others after I moved and I hope to be confident and reach out to others.
I also hope to discover more about me. I had learned more about my strengths and weaknesses (photography a maybe?). I love making videos and fashion. I love concerts and indie and punk rock music. I love my marketing class and I want to own my business and boutique some day. I get jealous of people who have once hurt me achieving one of my goals in life. I cannot do a turning disk. Baking is a major no-no for as much as I want to buy every baking kit out there. I also learned that I tend to push more people away than keep in touch them.
In 2015, I hope to be a better person than I was this year.