What I Learned While Being in a Relationship

Being 19 years old, I don’t know too much of life, but I have been through a lot. I have dealt with depression, anxiety, horrible friends, fuck boys, harassment, bullying but nothing compares to dealing with love.

Due to my heart being screwed over by boys who would like me one day and toss me aside the next, happened within the first week at college, it scares me to be in a relationship. I actually met my current boyfriend when I was trying to save something that was never started with another boy, who also lives on the same floor with him.

After dealing with the first boy at college and a boy earlier in the year, I was not interested in looking to start anything anymore. I felt more comfortable talking to my current boyfriend more than the other guy, and I was upset because I was not interested in him at that moment. After the last straw, I gave up and I was asked out to dinner. After a room organization, Walmart trip, a fashion show and a Spiderman style kiss later, I agreed to have dinner in his room.

He made steak for me on his little small grill and having never tried real steak before, I was scared to try it. I am not much of a meat eater so he made me microwaveable Mac and Cheese, a birthday cake and a make out session later, we became official.

Having never been in a real relationship, I personally did not know what to expect. Although I was happy, at the same time I felt scared. With all my past relationships, I felt like I was going to be a bother to him and how he will change his mind about me. But almost 2 months into our relationship, I am glad nothing worked out with anyone else. Waiting for someone that makes you feel happy is always worth it.

I promise I am not saying that I am the Ultimate Love Expert because I am obviously not. But when the past relationships make you wonder why nothing else ever worked until the right person comes into your life.

Never give in to anyone who doesn’t love you as much as you love them. Love is about communicating and friendship. You should feel comfortable in a relationship and if they are doing something that upsets you, tell them to stop. A relationship shouldn’t be forced and always ask questions. There would be nights where me and my boyfriend would try to sleep but end up talking for a few more hours because we would want to know more about one another.

The past was hard but always remember the future will be even better with the person you love.

The next time you are in a relationship, think about how you feel within it. For the past relationships, it was easy to tell that they were all going to end but when it is the right one, it feels different. I can’t wait for the future.

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time | a poem

time is a funny thing, we think we have so much of it but in the end we really don’t. one second there is something there but the next, it is gone. it never stops and just keeps going.

just like the instance that someone was alive and well but time quickly took them away. regret is one of the worst feelings that we could have. it stays there in the back of your mind eating at you and reminding you that there was so much that could have been done.

death have taken too many people each time and time is slowly dying with each click of the clock.

i do not want to end up like Prufrock, have not done so much when he could have. i do not want to be a coward.iI do not want to let those who i care deeply about to forget about me once i disappear from sight.

to remember those bittersweet times but they had gone so soon that those who took part will never know it or me at all. once they have mean so much but disappear like a crashing river.

i was too busy thinking about the future that i didn’t realize how few moments i had for my childhood

as i sit in my room thinking about time, my rabbit clock’s fingers ticking with each movement telling me that time is almost up, that everything is slowly disappearing.

do not end up like Prufrock and do ask the question he did not say, but how, how does one do so if that one person they want does not even think about them, know them or even talk to them.

time is going slowly but quickly as school is ending and once the year is gone, there is no going back. once graduation comes i will never see the important people again.

I was too busy thinking about the future that I didn’t realize how few moments I had for my childhood.

do not feel regret because time is slowly running out. there is not enough time. do what you want before it is too late.

why wait for fate when time is fleeting?

I Wonder… | A Poem

I wonder who I am going to fall in love with.
Is he someone that I would soon meet when I trip over a sidewalk in the city or someone that I have known for a few years from school?
Is he just a stranger passing or one who is currently poking my cheeks?
I wonder if he is in love with someone else right now or is too busy to care and too focused on life.
Is he happy in his life right now or just simply hanging on small piece of thread about to break?
Does he have blonde hair with freckles aligning his noise or does he have brown hair with rosy cheeks?
Does he have his life planned or is he just waiting to be hit with inspiration?
I wonder if we will hang out in the back of the library reading broken down books or in a corner of a party where I comfort your drunken sorrows.
Does he have blue hair with stretched earlobes or does he dress up to go to Church every Sunday with his family?
I wonder if he drinks his coffee with lots of cream or does he take tea with honey instead.
Is he an only child not liking all the attention or does he come from a dysfunctional family with a loving dog?
I wonder what his t-shirt would smell like when I slip it on a sunny Sunday morning and how he eats his pancakes.
I wonder if I am going to plan the future with him.
I wonder if he is ever going to love me as much as I love him. 

How I Show Love

Today is the day where one should show off their love for one another. Seeing couples presenting each other with bears and chocolates seem cute and all, but to those who do not know how to show people that they love them is hard.

As I was at SAT class today, my teacher explained how his wife came from a family who did not celebrate anything and did not want to do anything today. I thought that maybe there is a different way to show her husband that she loves him.

I am not one to show off how much they care about others because if I did, they probably would not care and I will feel rejected. So if those who do not if I care, it is hard for me and here are the small ways I will show I care.

  • I will allow you to take a handful of lifesaver gummies (those are my favorite) when I had other take one and I will give you the last one.
  • I will call you weirdo or loser because somehow I tend to tease those who I care about the most
  • If you are hanging with my friends, I will join.
  • Talking loudly so I can try to get your attention.
  • Sharing my food (or someone else’s food) with you.
  • Just by looking at you in the corner of my eye.

I am not the one to try to tell the guy I like that I have feelings towards him in case that my heart will be broken yet again. But remember, if someone does not show you love it is maybe because it is hard for them to open up. Make sure they feel safe and are emotionally ready. If someone breaks your heart, it is not the end of the world.

Keep loving.

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Alis in 2013

I started this blog about early September of 2012 for a try in fashion and writing, I was not very into fashion back then but I wanted to see where it would lead me. I also had been writing poems, and reviews for my school newspaper that I dream of inspiring others through difficult times (but there is not that many posts about that on here).
Alis is like my name Elyse (A-lees) but I did not give that blog a name until later. It was actually the name the Starbucks person put on my first drink from there after I had freshmen orientation. I guess by ordering a drink from a popular place could lead into this, or it was the only idea I had to change my name. I had a blog post about the name change a while ago but I don’t feel like finding it oh well.
So as I sit here inside the little place where we are staying in the mountains of Colorado, while stars like Christina Aguilera, Shaun White and Leonardo DiCaprio are skiing (I’m literally sore from my lesson yesterday that I could not even walk back to the condo and I can barely even walk around, so don’t be like “girl what are you doing inside for writing this post about”) I would like to share my favorite posts of the year before 2013 closes.
I would like to saw thank you to everyone who has followed me, read my posts or get annoyed by my posts on instagram and twitter, you have made me all so happy as I have gotten over 2,160 + views and over 100 posts. A few websites have contacted with me about my outfits and I hope that soon, that you guys can get the courage to be my buddy (or not but that is perfectly cool because like, I really don’t know how to interact with others through online). Anyway, I should start rambling and share my favorite posts of the year that either inspire others or I absolutely loved the outfits, pictures or writings that I have shared with everyone of you!
January
Do It Anyway
If you need a little encouragement in your life, this prayer from Mother Theresa is da bomb! I mean beautiful and inspiring.
February
Forever Alone Day
I created this post because not everyone has someone to spend with on Valentine’s Day! I thought this was so much fun to write!

March
A Dreamer
I wrote this poem a while ago and even though it is not very well written, I loved writing it!
Say “No” To The Thigh Gap
The thigh gap has been a popular trend this year as for those wishing to have one, I created a post to inspire those to stay healthy and not go to drastic measures to have something only certain body types can have.

May
Interview with Teen Author Kyla L.
A
lso in 2013, I had my first interview with a teen writer.
Trip to the Vintage Shop
This was my 50th post and I absolutely love the picture of the roses and the chandelier!

July
Summertime
A picture of mine I took of people at the beach.
Butterflies
It is all in the title.

August
Surviving the First Day of School
S
tarting the first day of school is hard, so I wrote something to help others.

September
Birthday #OOTD
My first outfit post, and my birthday!
Night
A poem I wrote for school.

October
Classic
A favorite outfit of mine.

November
Second Star to the Right
My Halloween costume that I have been wanting to wear forever!
Heartbreak Girl
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ot my best outfit but I love the post that I wrote.
It’s a Plaid, Plaid World
My favorite outfit!
New York
My awesome trip to NYC!

December
Simple Laughs and Puppy Love
Sweet family moments.
Traveling Essentials
I recently realized that I love making videos!

My Favorite Outfits of 2013


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I hope everyone of you has an awesome new year and hope 2014 treats us all well. I am currently in Colorado so I do not have any fancy as I did not think I should have brought something for New Years. So I might watch the fireworks in town or watch the Doctor Who episode that I have been trying to watch! Oh well, have a nice and safe New Year.

Heartbreak Girl

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The other day I had went over the past few years in my head, throughout middle school I was always the girl with the big heart, believing in fairy tales and a happily ever after. You can say that I am a hopeless romantic and I also always end up becoming friends with those who would always hurt me in the end. I also can say I have been hurt to a major point in my life that I have been broken, clearly I have been trying to fix myself multiple times.
I have always been waiting for a prince, someone to save me but I have read something on the bulletin board in my homeroom “no one can like you, unless you like yourself.” I have had trouble with being who I am for a while as I always dreamt of boys coming to my rescue on a white horse. But that was a fairy tale and this is reality. Being hurt made me realize that my fantasy of being with someone just made me scared and that I need to focus more on becoming comfortable in my skin than being self-conscious with someone.
As people know I look up to Demi Lovato as a role model, she needed a break from everything to feel right once again. I am not saying I have all these guys lined up (as I know I will become a cat lady) and I do have love songs on repeat but life isn’t always about being with a guy, it about finding yourself through the trouble times and heart ache. And that is what I am trying to do.
Besides, I can always pretend I’m dating my favorite Australian band ;).

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Sweater: Forever 21
Pants: Loft
Boots: DSW
Bracelet: Nordstrom

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Dear Future Daughter

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Recently my mom has been wanting me to read “25 Lessons for a 15 Year Old Girl” since she believed it was inspiring. She even tried printing it out but it failed. SO I decided to read it and it gave me and idea, I’m still 15 and will be for another 6 months so I thought why not do a letter for my future daughter. Just saying I’m only 15 and have a lot of guy friends who will never give me a high five any time soon so I’ll be hopefully saving this for my FUTURE daughter in the next 20 years or so from the lessons I have learned growing up.

Since growing up is hard and from the eyes of Peter Pan, it is not some fun trip. When I was little, I couldn’t wait to get out of the house and start my life ruling the world but sadly as I got closer to the age I was excited about, nothing turned out right and everything came crashing down. SO hopefully nothing bad will ever happen to you if you just know how to get through everything.

What you will need to know on your way through life.

  1. You know that friend you made during elementary school thinking you will be friends forever? She/he might turn against you but you now know that they weren’t your friends.
  2. There are people who are willing to see you fall but as hard as you come down, get up even stronger.
  3. Boys will have cooties but as soon as they get hotter, don’t go falling too fast.
  4. Be careful who you tell your secrets to and be careful who you trust.
  5. No matter how hard life gets, don’t do anything you will regret.
  6. Life is precious so cherish it by not staying online all day like me.
  7. You will go by many frogs until you find your prince charming.
  8. Its okay to not be okay and you can always cry.
  9. Your real friends will stick around during hard times while fake ones don’t.
  10. Being who you are means more than anything but always look over the mistakes you have made and fix it.

I’ll be adding the link of the article below and this is what I believe. And the picture is of my and my brother when I was young so enjoy.

“25 Lessons for a 15 Year Old Girl” http://bemorewithless.com/25-lessons-for-a-15-year-old-girl/