What I Learned While Being in a Relationship

Being 19 years old, I don’t know too much of life, but I have been through a lot. I have dealt with depression, anxiety, horrible friends, fuck boys, harassment, bullying but nothing compares to dealing with love.

Due to my heart being screwed over by boys who would like me one day and toss me aside the next, happened within the first week at college, it scares me to be in a relationship. I actually met my current boyfriend when I was trying to save something that was never started with another boy, who also lives on the same floor with him.

After dealing with the first boy at college and a boy earlier in the year, I was not interested in looking to start anything anymore. I felt more comfortable talking to my current boyfriend more than the other guy, and I was upset because I was not interested in him at that moment. After the last straw, I gave up and I was asked out to dinner. After a room organization, Walmart trip, a fashion show and a Spiderman style kiss later, I agreed to have dinner in his room.

He made steak for me on his little small grill and having never tried real steak before, I was scared to try it. I am not much of a meat eater so he made me microwaveable Mac and Cheese, a birthday cake and a make out session later, we became official.

Having never been in a real relationship, I personally did not know what to expect. Although I was happy, at the same time I felt scared. With all my past relationships, I felt like I was going to be a bother to him and how he will change his mind about me. But almost 2 months into our relationship, I am glad nothing worked out with anyone else. Waiting for someone that makes you feel happy is always worth it.

I promise I am not saying that I am the Ultimate Love Expert because I am obviously not. But when the past relationships make you wonder why nothing else ever worked until the right person comes into your life.

Never give in to anyone who doesn’t love you as much as you love them. Love is about communicating and friendship. You should feel comfortable in a relationship and if they are doing something that upsets you, tell them to stop. A relationship shouldn’t be forced and always ask questions. There would be nights where me and my boyfriend would try to sleep but end up talking for a few more hours because we would want to know more about one another.

The past was hard but always remember the future will be even better with the person you love.

The next time you are in a relationship, think about how you feel within it. For the past relationships, it was easy to tell that they were all going to end but when it is the right one, it feels different. I can’t wait for the future.

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London Day 1 & 2

On June 13th, my grandma and I took an overnight flight to London, England! Having felt anxious for the 7 hour flight, we made it around 6 am London time and as soon as I got there, I felt refreshed. The airport even had cute coffee shops that I would see in vlogs. FYI they offered me a drink on the flight, I am 18 so it is considered legal in England, but I opted for tea.

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After an insane drive and a 2 hour nap, we had tea planned at the restaurant in our hotel. To my surprise, it was one of those fancy hotels, because I am so used to Holiday Inns that I never knew what it was like to stay at a very fancy hotel. This hotel is thanks to the tour company that we used, Tauck, and they treated us like royalty.

It was rather weird being an American and viewing England’s very proper attitude and that such being a customer they literally treated like I was the Queen, only I can wish. The food is so different that I ate about 3 cucumber and cream cheese sandwich slices, I am at least trying. I got the Hibiscus Tea which was not too strong or bitter for my liking so I quite enjoyed it. I especially loved the centerpieces, especially the flowers and I have also learned that I am not a big fan of jelly. The dress I wore to tea if from Free People.

Our hotel was in the Marble Arch neighborhood so we decided to find it and we did not realize how close we were to Hyde Park! So our effort to stay awake was to walk walk around the city so we, I mean I, came with the idea to go to Madame Tussaud’s . I had to see the Zalfie wax figures of course! I texted my mom the picture and she actually thought that I had met them, sadly I did not 😦 .

We headed back for the hotel so my grandma fell asleep while I watched the people from out hotel window. Other than having a cereal bar for dinner, I really enjoyed the first night in London because it was so magical to me.

DAY 2

The second day started bright and early because we had to catch a bus to head to Harry Potter Studios of course! I am a huge Harry Potter fan and a movie fan so going there was a complete dream! I might move to England to work for a film company, but that is just an idea for now.

Here are the few of many photos I took and I highly suggest going even if you are not a Harry Potter fan, it was so cool to see how everything was created. I even rode a broom in the green screen room which I am not to sure if I am allowed to upload but if I am, it will possibly be up on a vlog. Ravenclaw for life!

After we left, we took a walk through Hyde Park and towards Harrods, legit the biggest place I have ever seen. Instead of buying anything, we ended having the most delicious ice cream in the cutest shop that gave me an idea to having my own ice cream shop.

Just look how yummy the ice cream looks! I do not really count my steps, but in total we walked 7 miles, gotta keep up my summer bod!

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Prom 2016

High school has finally ended for me, so despite my busy schedule I had one last hurrah with my friends at prom. I knew there was a lot of hype around prom but I went in with an open mind and I had one of the best nights.

I had gone with a date, who I had asked, but it is perfectly fine going with just friends and not with a date. The whole date concept is something that is implanted in our heads so I thought it would be better to go with a good friend of mine to have fun one night before I leave for school.

My track teammate mentioned I looked like Angelina Jolie in my dress and I literally died! After a fun night at prom we ended up at a burger joint by my school known as Steak and Shake where we pretended to be rich people who wear such clothing as an everyday thing. Although my feet did hurt, I could not have asked for anything else. I am going to miss everyone next year.

Dress: Camille La Vie | Bangle: Lord & Taylor | Shoes: Lord & Taylor | Earrings: Lord & Taylor | Corsage: Safeway | Date: Heaven

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Meaning of my Paper Airplane Necklace

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For the past couple of months, I have been wearing a silver paper airplane around my neck very subtly. It is nothing that is too big or too showy. It is small and tends to hide within the blouse of my uniform. I get questions from people what it may be or a joke from my math teacher as I tend to tug on it for the sake of security.

I bought this paper airplane necklace for myself. It was not a gift from someone or I did not buy it because Taylor Swift and Harry Styles wore something similar, but it is something much more.

Pixar had uploaded their short films onto Netflix and I have been wanting to see “Paper Man” due to the many compliments about it on Tumblr. The story is about a man waiting for a train to head to work and his paper flew, hitting a very pretty (and somewhat resemblance to Kim Possible) woman where it creates a cute moment between the two. Sadly, she disappears and when he sits at his desk, he looks across the street to see her at the office building next door. Despite all the work he has to do, he creates paper airplanes to try to get her attention. I am not going to spoil anything for anyone, so I’ll just leave it there.

I bought this necklace for the love of the short and how cute and quirky it is, but it became more than that.

My necklace is a sense of security when I have anxiety and also a reminder to put myself out there, like the man in the short film.

So much has happened for me since I have bought the necklace, I have become more confident in myself, I quit my job to focus on school, I am managing As in all of my classes, I went on my first date, I have become more comfortable talking to people, I have been laughing more and loudly, and enjoying life as much as I can.

My paper airplane necklace will always be there for me, even if I am not in the mood to put myself out there. It is something that might give me luck or pain, but it is a part of me and it has already done so much for me that it makes me excited for the future.

You can find the exact necklace, at a very decent price here!

Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored post,I really love my necklace.

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Target Finds | Sun Dresses

If you are currently experiencing a very dreary day filled with a mixture of snow and rain, like me, you are probably wishing it was summer. Although summer is not coming for another few months, it does not hurt to look at the pretty sun dresses that will be perfect for those few sunny spring days. Here a few of my favorite finds that I found online and in store.

Who else is ready for summer?! I defiantly am! Check out these fun, bohemian, and edgy pieces at Target!

Disclaimer: This post was not sponsored at all! These photos belong to Target and not me.

How to Love Yourself this V Day

I am one of those people who this Valentine’s Day is the most ridiculous thing in the whole wide world. So instead of feeling bad for myself this Sunday, I am going to take care of myself, the most important person in my life.

  1. Take a yoga class.
  2. Go on a run/exercise/eat healthy.
  3. Read a good book that you’ve been wanting to read.
  4. Go shopping! You ‘gotta treat yo self’!
  5. Explore a new town.
  6. Watch funny videos on YouTube.
  7. Get pampered.
  8. Buy a movie/CD you’ve been wanting.
  9. Do some community service.
  10. Go to a concert.
  11. Just do anything that you love that makes you happy.

time | a poem

time is a funny thing, we think we have so much of it but in the end we really don’t. one second there is something there but the next, it is gone. it never stops and just keeps going.

just like the instance that someone was alive and well but time quickly took them away. regret is one of the worst feelings that we could have. it stays there in the back of your mind eating at you and reminding you that there was so much that could have been done.

death have taken too many people each time and time is slowly dying with each click of the clock.

i do not want to end up like Prufrock, have not done so much when he could have. i do not want to be a coward.iI do not want to let those who i care deeply about to forget about me once i disappear from sight.

to remember those bittersweet times but they had gone so soon that those who took part will never know it or me at all. once they have mean so much but disappear like a crashing river.

i was too busy thinking about the future that i didn’t realize how few moments i had for my childhood

as i sit in my room thinking about time, my rabbit clock’s fingers ticking with each movement telling me that time is almost up, that everything is slowly disappearing.

do not end up like Prufrock and do ask the question he did not say, but how, how does one do so if that one person they want does not even think about them, know them or even talk to them.

time is going slowly but quickly as school is ending and once the year is gone, there is no going back. once graduation comes i will never see the important people again.

I was too busy thinking about the future that I didn’t realize how few moments I had for my childhood.

do not feel regret because time is slowly running out. there is not enough time. do what you want before it is too late.

why wait for fate when time is fleeting?