What I Learned While Being in a Relationship

Being 19 years old, I don’t know too much of life, but I have been through a lot. I have dealt with depression, anxiety, horrible friends, fuck boys, harassment, bullying but nothing compares to dealing with love.

Due to my heart being screwed over by boys who would like me one day and toss me aside the next, happened within the first week at college, it scares me to be in a relationship. I actually met my current boyfriend when I was trying to save something that was never started with another boy, who also lives on the same floor with him.

After dealing with the first boy at college and a boy earlier in the year, I was not interested in looking to start anything anymore. I felt more comfortable talking to my current boyfriend more than the other guy, and I was upset because I was not interested in him at that moment. After the last straw, I gave up and I was asked out to dinner. After a room organization, Walmart trip, a fashion show and a Spiderman style kiss later, I agreed to have dinner in his room.

He made steak for me on his little small grill and having never tried real steak before, I was scared to try it. I am not much of a meat eater so he made me microwaveable Mac and Cheese, a birthday cake and a make out session later, we became official.

Having never been in a real relationship, I personally did not know what to expect. Although I was happy, at the same time I felt scared. With all my past relationships, I felt like I was going to be a bother to him and how he will change his mind about me. But almost 2 months into our relationship, I am glad nothing worked out with anyone else. Waiting for someone that makes you feel happy is always worth it.

I promise I am not saying that I am the Ultimate Love Expert because I am obviously not. But when the past relationships make you wonder why nothing else ever worked until the right person comes into your life.

Never give in to anyone who doesn’t love you as much as you love them. Love is about communicating and friendship. You should feel comfortable in a relationship and if they are doing something that upsets you, tell them to stop. A relationship shouldn’t be forced and always ask questions. There would be nights where me and my boyfriend would try to sleep but end up talking for a few more hours because we would want to know more about one another.

The past was hard but always remember the future will be even better with the person you love.

The next time you are in a relationship, think about how you feel within it. For the past relationships, it was easy to tell that they were all going to end but when it is the right one, it feels different. I can’t wait for the future.

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How to Survive A College Football Game

Growing up no where near a college, I never went to a college football game so when it came to my first home game, I was nervous. And since my football team is part of the SEC, the most watched conference throughout football (Alabama is apart of the SEC), it was quite an affair.

There is a huge different between regular football teams and SEC teams, since the Gamecocks played against East Carolina it wasn’t considered an SEC game. SEC games involve tailgating with LOTS of Southern Food, fancy dresses and team spirit of course!

To go to an SEC, the outfits are both sophisticated and casual. Girls wear pearls, cowboy boots and rompers while the boys wore tennis shoes, button ups and bow ties. The rules I heard were if it was SEC official game, I was suppose to wear a dress but since it wasn’t I wore a jersey matching with my very cute boyfriend. The way I see it and many others that it shouldn’t matter what type of game it is, just wear what is considered comfortable.img_2891

The next thing is to hang out with friends. Since my boyfriend had his family tailgating, we did’t need to worry about that. We brought a few of our friends over to have some food and meet his family. Since I am considered a ‘Yankee’, a family member of his suggested I try a piece of a Southern brand bread, it was literally the same thing as regular bread. And I had a bunch of hot dogs because I am such a picky eater.

Friends make everything more fun!

The game is always fun, USC is known for their chant during the song Odyssey: 2001 and their sand storming with towels. Being very high up was scary but it didn’t bother me too much once that game started. Seeing everyone from the school showing pride made me so excited for my next few years!

Although we are not the best team in the SEC, we do show a lot of spirit! Remember to stay safe before, during and after the game. It is always fun when you get into the school spirit and being goofy with your friends!

I Wonder… | A Poem

I wonder who I am going to fall in love with.
Is he someone that I would soon meet when I trip over a sidewalk in the city or someone that I have known for a few years from school?
Is he just a stranger passing or one who is currently poking my cheeks?
I wonder if he is in love with someone else right now or is too busy to care and too focused on life.
Is he happy in his life right now or just simply hanging on small piece of thread about to break?
Does he have blonde hair with freckles aligning his noise or does he have brown hair with rosy cheeks?
Does he have his life planned or is he just waiting to be hit with inspiration?
I wonder if we will hang out in the back of the library reading broken down books or in a corner of a party where I comfort your drunken sorrows.
Does he have blue hair with stretched earlobes or does he dress up to go to Church every Sunday with his family?
I wonder if he drinks his coffee with lots of cream or does he take tea with honey instead.
Is he an only child not liking all the attention or does he come from a dysfunctional family with a loving dog?
I wonder what his t-shirt would smell like when I slip it on a sunny Sunday morning and how he eats his pancakes.
I wonder if I am going to plan the future with him.
I wonder if he is ever going to love me as much as I love him. 

How I Show Love

Today is the day where one should show off their love for one another. Seeing couples presenting each other with bears and chocolates seem cute and all, but to those who do not know how to show people that they love them is hard.

As I was at SAT class today, my teacher explained how his wife came from a family who did not celebrate anything and did not want to do anything today. I thought that maybe there is a different way to show her husband that she loves him.

I am not one to show off how much they care about others because if I did, they probably would not care and I will feel rejected. So if those who do not if I care, it is hard for me and here are the small ways I will show I care.

  • I will allow you to take a handful of lifesaver gummies (those are my favorite) when I had other take one and I will give you the last one.
  • I will call you weirdo or loser because somehow I tend to tease those who I care about the most
  • If you are hanging with my friends, I will join.
  • Talking loudly so I can try to get your attention.
  • Sharing my food (or someone else’s food) with you.
  • Just by looking at you in the corner of my eye.

I am not the one to try to tell the guy I like that I have feelings towards him in case that my heart will be broken yet again. But remember, if someone does not show you love it is maybe because it is hard for them to open up. Make sure they feel safe and are emotionally ready. If someone breaks your heart, it is not the end of the world.

Keep loving.

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Forever Alone Day

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Also known as Valentine’s Day when all the people who are in love have a snog fest and give each other gifts that are either engagement rings or pieces of gum that you found on the bottom of your bag. But for me and maybe some others are being found alone during the super romantic day. I used to hate this day, but for this year I don’t know why I’m so excited. Maybe I can ask my homeroom teacher if I could wear anything heart related other than my uniform?

Though I do wish that some guy, well any guy to proclaim their love for me on this day would be great, but that is not what I’m gonna talk about. So for those who believe are gonna grow old and live with a million cats just because for the past few years they haven’t had someone special and I found a few ways to spend this dreadful yet amazing day.

  1. You can cry about it by watching romance movies like the Notebook or my favorite, a Walk to Remember. Be like, I want a romance like that and eat your feelings away or you can cry with your best friends for a girls night for those who are also single.
  2. Singles Party! Invite all your single friends and talk about how gushy the couples are while wearing dresses with flowers in your hair and embracing the freedom of not being in a relationship.
  3. Listen to Girl Power music like Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato or Katy Perry. Maybe Taylor Swift if you want to feel bad, so  maybe not.
  4. Write, write, write on how everything is amazing without that special someone or how bad it is.
  5. Go see a movie like Warm Bodies for that really hot zombie! Just make sure to not bring a friend who gets easily scared of the badly made animations.
  6. Read a book, maybe something that involves no boys what so ever or you can cry over someone else’s romance like the Fault in Our Stars
  7. Or make Valentine’s handmade or store bought, with candy or with not (haha rhymed there). Give them to your friends, teachers, that special boy or even your cat. But you can eat it all.

Have fun this Valentine’s Day and remember its only 24 horrible hours to get through so don’t really do anything crazy unless its kissing that special boy!