Being 19 years old, I don’t know too much of life, but I have been through a lot. I have dealt with depression, anxiety, horrible friends, fuck boys, harassment, bullying but nothing compares to dealing with love.
Due to my heart being screwed over by boys who would like me one day and toss me aside the next, happened within the first week at college, it scares me to be in a relationship. I actually met my current boyfriend when I was trying to save something that was never started with another boy, who also lives on the same floor with him.
After dealing with the first boy at college and a boy earlier in the year, I was not interested in looking to start anything anymore. I felt more comfortable talking to my current boyfriend more than the other guy, and I was upset because I was not interested in him at that moment. After the last straw, I gave up and I was asked out to dinner. After a room organization, Walmart trip, a fashion show and a Spiderman style kiss later, I agreed to have dinner in his room.
He made steak for me on his little small grill and having never tried real steak before, I was scared to try it. I am not much of a meat eater so he made me microwaveable Mac and Cheese, a birthday cake and a make out session later, we became official.
Having never been in a real relationship, I personally did not know what to expect. Although I was happy, at the same time I felt scared. With all my past relationships, I felt like I was going to be a bother to him and how he will change his mind about me. But almost 2 months into our relationship, I am glad nothing worked out with anyone else. Waiting for someone that makes you feel happy is always worth it.
I promise I am not saying that I am the Ultimate Love Expert because I am obviously not. But when the past relationships make you wonder why nothing else ever worked until the right person comes into your life.
Never give in to anyone who doesn’t love you as much as you love them. Love is about communicating and friendship. You should feel comfortable in a relationship and if they are doing something that upsets you, tell them to stop. A relationship shouldn’t be forced and always ask questions. There would be nights where me and my boyfriend would try to sleep but end up talking for a few more hours because we would want to know more about one another.
The past was hard but always remember the future will be even better with the person you love.
The next time you are in a relationship, think about how you feel within it. For the past relationships, it was easy to tell that they were all going to end but when it is the right one, it feels different. I can’t wait for the future.