2014

Today marks the end of a year, another chapter in my life and let me say that 2014 was kind of crazy. It was not amazing as 2011 but there were many major parts to it. This past year started off with me waking up in Aspen, Colorado. I have not been on a plane since I was 9 and this was a new adventure for me. The next few months I have been surprising getting good grades.

In February, for the first time by myself, I went by plane to Florida to visit my grandparents. Having cried both going and coming (I can’t believe I did that) I have matured on traveling the world by myself.

In April, around Easter, I had received the sacrament of Reconciliation through my school. I had told the priest how I was such a bad person to myself. How I blamed everything on me and he said that it was very brave to not blame it on someone else. He told me that it was the devil trying to disconnect me from God and if I ever had bad thoughts again that I should let it slip and think of something else. That literally changed my whole state of mind including eventually achieving my goal for that school year, being happy.

In July, I had a chance to be able to go to New York and study fashion with a summer class at the Fashion Institute of Technology. I made new friends and hope to go again next year to learn more.

I had moved from JV to my school’s Varsity dance team and I finally realized the meaning behind hard work. Pushing yourself will eventually lead you to a goal you’ve been wanting. For me is to be more fit and be more flexible.

In August and going into September, two people I have known had passed away. One was a student I had gone to middle school with and to hear how he died literally ripped my heart out. We were never really good friends at school, but I did have a crush on him in 8th grade. I guess you never know how corrupted society could be until someone disappears forever. The other was my old math teacher, a lady who used to scare the life out of me. She also helped me achieve better grades in math. I learned more from her teaching style than anyone else.

Also in September, I had a chance to be able to go to the Ed Sheeran concert along with 2 of my friends and had the time of my life for my 17th birthday.

In October, I had to drop some friends who were not helping me mentally. Having people around who made you confused on if they were really your friends or just people around eventually going to hurt you. Knowing they were doing things without me and lying to me was devastating and I eventually stopped talking to them and moved on to hanging out with people who I talked to but really hung out. I do not have many friends but I realized that they did not have to make me feel bad about myself or gossip about others to have fun. It really did not matter if they are considered ‘weird’ they are better friends than everyone in the school.

In November, my homecoming look I had submitted was placed on the Teen Vogue website.

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This has been a major dream of mine to be either on their website, or on their magazine. I hope to be able to put myself out their more and can not wait to put together new outfits for others to see.

In December, I had reached 100 subscribers on my YouTube channel and been thinking too much. Oblivion scares me and I feel like I am trapped inside a bubble. I am stuck in a place with something I do not want to do and I want to be putting my name out there, exploring life. Life doesn’t last forever, I just want to be remembered somehow. Currently being a high school student, I cannot do much. All I want is to reach out to others, create something big and creative, travel the world and give the world a lasting impression of me.

In 2015, I hope to be able to travel more places. I will be traveling to London and Paris this summer. I am going to looking at colleges, in South Carolina maybe New York and Boston. Next month I will be going to Florida to support my team as they compete in Nationals.

I hope to make new friends. I hope to meet new people who I can easily connect with and not be afraid that they are going to hurt me in some way. I want to reconnect with old friends who once made me happy. I had lost touch with others after I moved and I hope to be confident and reach out to others.

I also hope to discover more about me. I had learned more about my strengths and weaknesses (photography a maybe?). I love making videos and fashion. I love concerts and indie and punk rock music. I love my marketing class and I want to own my business and boutique some day. I get jealous of people who have once hurt me achieving one of my goals in life. I cannot do a turning disk. Baking is a major no-no for as much as I want to buy every baking kit out there. I also learned that I tend to push more people away than keep in touch them.

In 2015, I hope to be a better person than I was this year.

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New Years Dancing | OOTD

Happy almost 2015! I recently made a video (which you can find below) with hair, and outfit ideas for New Years Eve. This is my absolute favorite out of the two outfits and I was so pleased with my hair that even while I was filming I was ‘Oh my gosh! I did that!’.

Here comes my awkward faces!

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I did not notice that I had the headband like that!

I bought this dress Sophomore year hoping to wearing it to homecoming, but ended up not to. I have had this in my closet for a year and I have been wanting to wear it to. I love how the black dress has a simple flirty skirt and at the top it is sheer with black polka dots giving it a rather feminine and fun touch to the dress. The headband is gold with pearl and it gave the outfit a nice touch of color. I wear black so much that I never add a dash of color. I am also wearing my nude heels so it doesn’t distract so much from the outfit.

Dress: H&M | Headband: Forever 21 | Shoes: Lord & Taylor

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Trend Alert: Winter Pastels

No one has to wear dull dark colors in the Winter anymore! Pastels may seem out of place in the upcoming cold seasons when they are more common for Spring and Summer. It gives this upcoming season full of life and much more to enjoy about shopping. Despite me wearing a lot of dark colors, I am excited for the beautiful pieces to style.

Here are a few of my favorite styles of the beautiful colors placed together.

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Disclaimer: I do not own these pictures, they belong to their rightful owners

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Oblivion | OOTD

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I have been thinking about life recently and the future is some scary place. I do not know what to think but to keep the life I am living and hope to achieve my goals.

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Top: Forever 21 | Jacket: Forever 21 | Ring: Navette | Hat: (some store in Aspen) | Pants: Kohls (LC Collection)

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Self Expression, Not Self Obsession

I remember when my guy friend told me that I posted too many pictures of myself on Instagram and that later made me feel cautious on the pictures I should put on there. After my change of mine period (hopefully a post about that) I realized that it is my account and no one should have say on it.

I have this pet peeve when people say that I am ‘obsessed with myself’ which is the complete opposite. I do post a lot of pictures of myself but I am a fashion blogger, that is what others bloggers do as well. I may not be big but it really does not matter because I have put together an outfit or there is a picture I am in that I like and I wanted to post it. Recently I was going through my own feed and noticed how many pictures of myself I have (which compared to others is not a lot) I was afraid that someone was going to say something.

If you did not know but for the past few years or so, I really did not like myself and I always put myself down causing my self-esteem to be extremely low. It was a really hard time for me that I decided to change everything about I viewed the world including myself. I feel like that sometimes I feel ‘okay looking’, and there will other times where I actually like the way I look. No one is perfect and I always feel like I am ‘too ugly’ or never ‘pretty enough’.

But I learned to completely and fully love myself no matter how I look. Despite how many pictures of myself I post on social media, I like to express that I have came so far from a really bad part of my life to finally accepting every little flaw I have. Maybe I am not skinny, maybe I don’t have the nicest skin or the perfect hair but I do like that I have changed for the better. I love myself and I don’t care if you say it is ‘self-obsession’ because I am expressing who I am out of school. I am a blogger, I am a YouTuber, I am an imperfect girl living life in a crazy world.

There are times when I feel self-conscious about myself and sometimes maybe I post sad quotes (not too often) but it is better to express happiness than self-hatred.

So which would you rather see?

Love yourself and express every little unique about yourself. I love you and I hope for the best.

Until next time,

Elyse

Youtube Channel

Guys it is competition season so that means I do not have time to prepare a post. I may have not been posting a lot on here, I have tried to keep my YouTube Channel up to date! Yes, I am one of those people who have a YouTube channel! I absolutely love  filmed and creating videos that I hope to continue it along with make friends and doing amazing things as well.

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